July 2011
17 posts
Top 15 Famous Old Guys I Wish I Could Call Grandpa!
1. GEORGE A. ROMERO
He’s cute. His glasses are huge. He is known around the world as the Father of Zombies. The creator and mastermind behind the revolutionary Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, etc, etc, etc….
Uh, there is no question that this cute and cuddly, 71 year old, badass, King of the Zombie World would make the greatest Grandpa ever!
2. PATRICK STEWART
Go ahead… say it, “TREKKIE!!” and I shall just calmly state that, “You can EAT ME!”
Patrick Stewart, Captain Picard, Professor X, or however you may know him; is a distinguished, intelligent, hilariously funny, British gentlemen who could command the shit out of the USS Enterprise better than that hack Shatner.
3. JACK NICHOLSON
74 years old and still one of the craziest stars in Hollyweird. This is the man who ad-libbed the famous “Here’s Johnny!” line from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. He was also, by far, the greatest actor to wear the face of Batman’s arch nemesis the Joker in the Tim Burton directed movie of Batman in 1989. This neurotic madman would be one of the coolest Grandfather’s in history.
He’s a total Hollywood Bad Boy and has been living up to his notorious reputation since he started acting in 1958!
4. JOHN MALKOVICH
They made a movie that was filmed from inside Malkovich’s head… GENIUS!
Enough said.
5. SIR IAN MCKELLEN
Have you ever seen an actor with the range of McKellen? Nope, I didn’t think so.
The guy plays Magneto from X-Men AND Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings! Did I mention that he’s rocking the rainbow in Gay Pride Parades around the world at the ripe age of 72?! Coolest gay gramps EVER!
6. R. LEE ERMEY
“I‘m going to to give you three seconds, exactly THREE-FUCKING-SECONDS, to WIPE that stupid looking grin off your face, or I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULL, FUCK YOU!!!”
- R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Stanley Kubrick’s film Full Metal Jacket
Uh, so maybe not the most “fun” Grandpa to have but I’ll bet dollars to that donut ‘Pvt. Pyle’ hid in his footlocker you’ll learn respect and discipline, God dammit!
Besides, he’ll sure as shit show you how to fire a high power assault rifle like no other.
7. LEONARD NIMOY
Yah, I’m a “Kirk-lovin’-Spock-sucker”. Got something to say about it?
Sure Nimoy is Spock in Gene Rodenberry’s original Star Trek, but he is also the voice of Galvatron, the leader of the Decepticon’s in the 1986 movie Transformers as well as playing the voice for Sentinel Prime in this year’s big box office hit, Transformers: The Dark of the Moon.
Oh yeah, he’s smart and does that cool hand gesture.
“Live Long and Prosper”, Bitches!
8. SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS
If ‘Hannibal Lecter’ was my Grandpa, I’d tell all friends that he really doesn’t enjoy rude people, so they better be nice to me so they don’t have to deal with him. In fact, he may very well eat their “liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
9. SEAN CONNERY
He was the best James Bond. He eluded badass Marines on “The Rock” while mocking Nicholas Cage the entire time. He was Indiana Jones’ father. He’s got a wicked Scottish accent. What more could someone ask for in a Grandpa?
10. MORGAN FREEMAN
Morgan Freeman can read my bedtime stories any night of the week!!
11. HARRISON FORD
Han Solo. Indiana Jones. Jack Ryan.
Uh huh… Oh, he also publicly called Shia LaBeouf a “Fucking Idiot.”
12. ROBERT DENIRO
Who doesn’t want a foul-mouthed mafia gangster type Grandpa that could teach you new and interesting ways to tell the world and everyone in it to “fuck off”?
13. ALAN RICKMAN
Manic depressive robot. Sheriff of Nottingham. The voice of God. Hans Gruber. Professor Snape.
A grandchild could learn much from a teacher with the “Benefits of a classical education.”
14. STEVEN SEAGAL
Don’t let the herpa-derp expression fool you.
This Grandpa can teach you to kill a person with your thumb in several different martial arts, and then take you on a trip to meet the Dalai Lama. Umm, COOL!
15. AL PACINO
Everyone could use an abrasive, profane, womanizing, overly energized Italian-American Grandfather. Especially one that has not only been the Godfather, but the motherfuckin’ Devil himself!
- Koma White -